I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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