never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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