Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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