At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
there is glitter all over my balls
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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