come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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