i can't believe i had my finger in that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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