Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
