ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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