so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
