ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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