Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
