his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
His nipple licking is glorious
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