pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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