i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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