if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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