She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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