Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
