I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
