I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
