Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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