Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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