He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
