i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
