Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
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We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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