We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This baby is an asshole
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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