In the future we'll all be gay
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
