beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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