My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
