I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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