cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
