I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize