im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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