and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
there was a trapeze. enough said
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
