hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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