this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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