just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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