Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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