I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
