Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
