So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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