what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
