Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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