there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and she was petting her beer can
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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