So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
