dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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