Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
