He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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