This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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