I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
