apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
