You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
