Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We were destined to go to rehab together
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
