why didn't you poke me back
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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