Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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