I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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