Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
And then he peed in my hair
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