Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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