My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
