I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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