My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
