OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
