Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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